Hi Jesus, I learned in Sunday School that you never sin. Is that true? -- Sam

Sam! So look I mean how could I possibly sin when sin is just shit u all do that makes me real mad? And since Im perfect and shit and Jzs and what have you theres no way I could do something that would make me mad. I love me man. Damn I love me. I love me so hard. So yeah theres like no way I could sin cuz that shit would be absurd.

Everything u learn in sundae school is probably true to some degree especially the stuff about hell cuz thats no joke. Its hotter than florida there.

- Jzs

Jzs, As a fellow Jew, you're circumsized, right? Why do you not tell your followers to offer their foreskins to G-d? It doesn't seem fair. -Schlomo "Steve" Ruffman

Okay so listen up "Steve" I mean man I dont wanna get involved in how u mutiliate ur kids. Thats some private shit and I mean I gave u guys the illusion of free will so go ahead and decide if you wanna mangle up ur babies junk on ur own okay? And also look Ive spent the last thousand years trying to get my foreskin back with this shit i saw on the internet that stretches u out a new foreskin and man that is no damn good at all. Id post a pic but I cant figure out how so just imagine it for urself.

- Jzs

How come sometimes the subway goes so slow I want to kill myself and everyone on it? Thanks for your time, God. - Ray

Hi Ray thats a good question. I bet u think I have something to do with that and thats why ur asking me this rly passive agressive question. And is that kind of a threat there at the end that u might kill urself and other people? HAHA. Damn. Its funny that u think that kind of thing works on me. Im Jzs. Im the fucking king of passive agressive death threats. I invented it. Along with birds and physics and masturbation and everything else that is awesome. Anyway um the subway is run by a bunch of no good people that cant find gainful employment anywhere else so i mean of course its going to suck every now and then. U should be amazed it runs at all and just maybe be thankful or quiet or something for once. Damn.

- Jzs

Hi, can you please send a skank to my ex-bf? Make sure she has some std or something. Thanks, appreciate it. - Alice

Yo Alice normally I dont answer requests for skanks and stuff cuz Im real busy but its not for u plus u want to give someone stds plus youre one hot bitch so okay. I sent over the girl with the half black half blond hair whos always at that divey bar on avenue A. Shes pregnant so shes already got the original std but maybe he can give her one of his because hes got like five already. Thats messed up. U better get ur shit checked out. When u do give me call cuz Im free Sunday night. Ur hot, but Jzs doesnt need any stds.

- Jzs

Hey Jzs--Boxers or briefs?--Matthew

O Matthew, wouldnt u like to know. But if i told u, then u wouldn't have nothing to look forward to when u die. But if ur asking what u should wear then I say why chose? Boxer briefs is the way to go. And then if I decide to kill u in a car crash or something then the paramedics will be all like Damn, this guy got fucked up, but those boxer briefs are cute.

- Jzs

Is the world going to end in 2012? And if so, can I do whatever I want till then? Thanks, Alice

Hi Alice gr8 question. First of all yes the world is going to end in 2012 just becuz some ancient indians who were so stupid that they had never even heard of me got sick of counting. Mhm. Yeah. Sounds about right...

NO dummy. Of course the world isnt going to end in 2012. Man. Thats some pretty dumb shit but u know their always talking about the world ending ever since I used to hang out on earth so this shit is nothing new but I mean come on. Damn. U really gonna base ur life on some fucking mayan calandar? If so then Im pretty sure the world is gonna end for u by 2012 cuz ur dumb and will probably fall off a balcony by accident somewhere.

- Jzs

Why? - Everyone

Oh come on now cuz its fun right? u know u love it. lol

damn u people are sad.

- Jzs